Is Your Dog Stubborn—Or Are Your Expectations Too High?
We’ve all seen those viral videos: a Border Collie performing a complex 20-step routine or a Golden Retriever sitting perfectly still while a steak rests on its nose. It’s easy to watch those clips and think, “Why can’t my dog just stop barking at the mailman?”
If you’re feeling frustrated with your dog’s progress, take a deep breath. You aren’t failing, and neither is your dog. Most of the time, the "problem" isn't the training—it’s the expectations.
Setting realistic goals is the secret to staying patient and actually seeing results. Here is how to recalibrate your mindset for a happier training journey.
1. Progress is Not a Straight Line
Many owners expect training to look like a steady upward climb. In reality, it looks more like a messy squiggle. You will have "Aha!" moments followed by days where it feels like your dog has forgotten their own name.
The Regression Phase: It is completely normal for a dog to backslide, especially during adolescence (6–18 months) or when life gets stressful.
The "Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back" Rule: Don’t judge your dog by their worst day. Judge them by their average behavior over the last month.
2. Biology Matters (Breed and Age)
You can’t train a Beagle to ignore a scent as easily as you can train a Lab to fetch a ball. Every dog comes with a genetic "hard-coding."
Breed Instincts: A Livestock Guardian Dog is bred to be independent and suspicious; a Border Collie is bred to be obsessive and focused. Work with your dog’s nature, not against it.
Age Appropriateness: Expecting a 12-week-old puppy to have a 30-minute "stay" is like asking a toddler to sit through a corporate board meeting. Focus on short, winnable wins.
3. Training vs. Management
One of the biggest misconceptions is that a "trained" dog never behaves badly. Even the best-trained dogs have bad days. This is where management comes in.
4. The "Consistency" Tax
Dogs don't speak English; they speak patterns. If you let your dog jump on you when you’re wearing jeans but scold them when you’re wearing a suit, they aren't being "stubborn"—they’re confused.
The 80/20 Rule: If you are consistent 80% of the time, you’ll get 80% results. If you want a 100% reliable dog, you need 100% consistency from everyone in the household.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Avoid comparing your "behind-the-scenes" to someone else’s "highlight reel" on Instagram. Those 60-second clips often represent years of professional work. And don’t compare your current dog to your previous dog; it is not fair to either of you.
Your dog doesn't need to be a circus performer; they just need to be a functional, happy member of your family. Celebrate the small victories—like a loose-leash walk for half a block or a successful "sit" at the vet—and remember that relationship always comes before results.